Tag Archives: health

Mistakes Make Better Runners

There are weeks when everything clicks.

There are weeks when you set a personal best.

And then there are weeks where every run teaches you something you didn’t know before.

This was one of those weeks.

Showing Up Anyway

I’ll start with some honesty.

This wasn’t my best week.

It wasn’t my fastest.

It wasn’t my strongest.

It was simply a week where I kept showing up.

Sometimes that’s enough.

Sunday started exactly how I wanted it to.

An hour and a half of upper-body strength training.

Running is helping me lose weight, but I know if I stop lifting, I’ll eventually lose muscle too. I’ve always had broad shoulders and good upper-body strength.

Maybe it’s genetics.

Maybe it’s from years of carrying kids, groceries, backpacks, and every random thing my family asked me to haul around.

I’ll let you decide.

After the gym, I headed out for what was supposed to be a four-mile run.

That’s when I learned a lesson the hard way.

The Day My Knees Caught Fire

Earlier that morning, my knees were bothering me, so I rubbed Icy Hot on them.

Seemed like a good idea.

What I failed to consider was the weather.

It was 98 degrees with a heat index of 107.

I also sweat.

A lot.

About a mile and a half into the run, my knees felt like they were literally on fire.

Not uncomfortable.

Not sore.

On. Fire.

I managed three miles before calling it quits because there was no convincing myself to keep going.

Back home, I tried everything to get the burning to stop.

Then I made mistake number two.

I jumped into a warm shower.

If you’ve ever put Icy Hot on your body, you already know what happened next.

It somehow burned even worse.

The cold shower finally brought some relief, and I spent the next couple of hours sitting in my recliner with cold towels draped across my knees wondering if I was about to become the first person to visit the emergency room because of muscle cream.

Thankfully, by that evening, everything was fine.

Lesson learned.

No more Icy Hot before running.

A Bigger Engine Doesn’t Mean You Floor It

After taking a couple of days off, I was back on Wednesday.

The weather had cooled into the mid-80s.

The plan called for an easy recovery run.

My brain had other ideas.

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve started feeling something different.

I finally feel like I’m becoming a runner.

My stride has naturally started getting longer.

My body is changing.

Running feels…different.

So instead of following the plan, my ego decided it wanted to see what this new engine could do.

I ran my first mile in 13 minutes and 29 seconds.

For me, that’s flying.

For about thirteen minutes, I felt unstoppable.

Then reality showed up.

The remaining sixteen minutes became an exercise in survival.

Every step reminded me why coaches tell you to trust the plan.

I paid for that first mile.

But I’m glad I made that mistake during training instead of on race day.

Sometimes experience is the best coach.

Running in the Rain

Thursday brought another first.

Rain.

Thunder.

Heat.

And somehow…

Peace.

There’s something difficult to explain about running through a storm.

Knowing everyone else is inside where it’s comfortable while you’re outside chasing a goal creates a different kind of energy.

It isn’t about proving anything to anyone else.

It’s about proving something to yourself.

Those are the runs you’ll remember.

Solving Problems on the Fly

Yesterday’s run reminded me that running is really just problem-solving in motion.

My heart rate was running much higher than normal.

I was frustrated.

The weather wasn’t terrible.

I hadn’t changed much.

Then I noticed my right calf.

It felt swollen and tight.

That’s when it clicked.

Over the last week, I’d changed my stride.

Longer strides meant different muscles were doing more work.

I shortened my stride back to what felt natural.

Almost immediately, things settled down.

Problem identified.

Adjustment made.

Keep moving.

That mindset feels familiar.

In operations, things rarely go according to plan.

You don’t panic.

You troubleshoot.

You adapt.

You solve the problem with the information you have.

Running isn’t much different.

Every mile is collecting data.

Every run teaches you something.

The goal isn’t perfection.

The goal is learning fast enough to keep moving forward.

One Battle I Still Haven’t Won

If there’s one area that continues to hold me back, it’s sleep.

I’m still averaging far less than I should.

I’ve tried melatonin.

I’ve tried CBD.

I’ve tried magnesium glycinate.

I’ve even tried prescription medication, but I’d rather not rely on it long-term.

Some things make me feel drowsy.

None of them have consistently helped me sleep.

I know recovery isn’t optional.

It’s part of training.

It’s probably the next habit I need to figure out.

Because fitness isn’t built only during the workout.

It’s built while your body recovers afterward.

If you’ve struggled with sleep and found something that genuinely helped—not just another supplement—I would love to hear it.

What worked for you?

Leave me a comment. I’m always looking to learn from people who’ve been where I am.

Looking Ahead

This week wasn’t about breaking records.

It was about making mistakes.

Learning from them.

Adjusting.

And showing up again anyway.

Burning knees.

An ego check.

A rainstorm.

A sore calf.

None of those things stopped the journey.

They simply became part of it.

I’m beginning to realize that becoming a runner isn’t about learning how to run.

It’s about learning how to adapt.

One mistake.

One adjustment.

One mile at a time.

Slow.

Steady.

Deliberate.

Forward under load.

Where I’m Starting From

This is a continuation of my journey of rebuilding under pressure.

I’m 33 years old, 6’1”, currently 310lbs, and working my way down to 250lbs. I’ve already lost about 30lbs so far, but I still consider this the beginning of a longer process—not the middle or the end.


My current routine

Right now, I run four times a week in the afternoon. I usually run with my wife and three kids. It’s not perfect training conditions, but it’s consistent—and consistency is what matters right now.

Some days feel easier than others, but I’ve learned not to measure progress by how I feel in the moment. I measure it by whether I showed up or not.


Changes I’ve made

One of the biggest changes has been my eating habits.

We don’t eat out daily anymore. That was a difficult adjustment at first, especially with our kids involved in travel basketball and busy schedules.

But my wife has stepped up in a major way. Most of our meals now are simple, consistent, and home-cooked—rice, chicken breast or ground turkey, and vegetables.

It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being better than before.


Alcohol and health

I haven’t had alcohol since February 2025, when my health concerns first started becoming real to me.

That change alone has had a noticeable impact—not just physically, but mentally as well.


Sleep and recovery

Right now, sleep is still something I’m working on. I average about 5–6 hours per night.

It’s not ideal, but it’s where I am currently. The goal is to improve it gradually without trying to force unrealistic changes that don’t fit my responsibilities.


What a good day looks like

A good day for me is simple.

It’s being present with my children and watching them laugh without a care in the world.

Recently, I had three good days in a row. I felt more present, more calm, and more connected with my family. I was off work during that time, and I used it to unwind—watch movies, spend time with my kids, and just be in the moment.

Those are the days I want more of.


What I’m working toward

My wife and I are currently training for a half marathon on December 5th, 2026. That goal gives structure to our running and keeps us focused on something beyond just weight loss.

Right now, I’m tracking both my running and my weight loss consistently. Nothing complicated—just awareness and accountability.


This is where I am right now.

Not finished. Not perfect. But moving forward.

One step at a time, under real responsibility.

Forward Under Load – The Beginning

This is the start of a personal record of rebuilding.

I’m a 33-year-old male, 6’1”, currently 310lbs. I’m a father of three, a husband in a long-term relationship of 13 years, and I work as an operations manager. I also have two dogs, and my life is full of responsibility, routine, and pressure—like most people trying to balance everything at once.


Where I come from

My upbringing was not easy. It included mental and physical abuse, and over time I learned how to adapt to that environment just to get through it. As I got older, I also learned something else that mattered just as much—how to set boundaries with family when it became necessary for my own stability and my own household.

That process wasn’t clean or simple, but it was necessary.


Where I am now

For most of my adult life, I’ve struggled with anxiety—especially around health. I’ve always been aware of it in the background, but it became more serious over the last year after medical exams made it clear that I couldn’t ignore my physical condition anymore.

That was the turning point.

At 340lbs, I knew I had to stop treating my health like something I could deal with “later.”


What I’ve started doing

About 3–4 months ago, I started running.

At first, it was difficult—physically and mentally. But I’ve stayed consistent with it, and over time I’ve built real endurance. It’s not about speed or performance right now. It’s about showing up, even when it’s uncomfortable.

That consistency has started to carry over into other parts of my life as well.


Why I started this blog

This blog exists for one reason: accountability through documentation.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking and restarting privately. This time, I want to make the process visible—not for attention, but for structure.

Forward Under Load is about continuing forward while still carrying real responsibilities:

  • Fatherhood
  • Marriage
  • Work
  • Health
  • Mental discipline

Nothing gets paused while improvement happens.


What this journey is about

This isn’t about becoming a different person.

It’s about becoming a more controlled version of who I already am.

  • Losing weight in a sustainable way
  • Managing anxiety and health concerns
  • Building discipline through repetition
  • Staying present for my family
  • Learning consistency under pressure

The idea behind “Forward Under Load”

Life doesn’t lighten itself just because you decide to change.

You still show up for your family.
You still show up for work.
You still show up for responsibility.

So the goal isn’t to remove the load.

It’s to move forward under it—steadily, consistently, and with purpose.


This is the beginning of that process.

No shortcuts. No illusion of perfection.

Just progress—earned day by day.